Monday, November 7, 2011

Driving with Style in Los Angeles

Thank you all for your emails! Overwhelmingly, you were asking about traffic, living, driving in L.A., which brought me to this post. My top 15 things I would watch out for, learn and practice. This is not the DMV rules, this is street rules with some sense of humor.
Things you should know before you move to L.A. and start driving.

1. Get a navigation system. This is a must and that is why it's #1. You will always know where to go and you will get there on time, most likely, which will separate you from douche bags who are "fashionably" late 5 hours. True fashion in L.A. is getting to your destination 15 min early which is on time. It impresses people. For a party you can be hour or two late to make an entrance.

2. California Roll - no I am not talking about sushi. When you come up to a stop sign, in California we slow down almost to a stop, but actually roll the wheels forward through the stop sign and then go. A lot of people actually speed up and then slam the breaks to appears they are coming to a full stop and then do the roll. I don't recommend that from the view of DMV and popo's but this thread is about what really happens on the road :)

3. 4 way stop. If 4 way stop in a city full of egos would not be enough, L.A. has more than 4 ways stops. There is one particular in Beverly Hills on the corner of Beverly Hills Hotel and it's a mad house. The same rules apply but don't be surprised if you see two cars go from the same lane, people are cutting each other and practice impatience. Plus pedestrians are closing left and right from and to the hotel.

4. Pedestrians - to all of you speedy drivers pedestrians are those little dots that you see on the sides of the road :) welcome to L.A. you'll do just fine. For all of the rest California does have a law of truly honoring the right of way to pedestrians and they do abuse it! Don't be surprised to see one crossing HWY. Cali has ton of bums and they drag their carts all over the road so WATCH out and let them pass! But don't be shy to show your frustration lol just as long as you are not stuck on the red light cause they will come after you!

5. Road Rage - this is a big one! We are crazy about #4. We scream inside the car and roll the window down and unload verbally on you in any second you waste. We are all in a rush, even if we are going to the store and everyone drives by the rule of "Im the best driver - the rest are idiots!" This is taught in the traffic school. BUT be very careful and evaluate the situation because people will follow you, they will retaliate and there is a possibility of being stabbed or getting shot (depends on where you are and navigation will always be helpful, so you don't get lost in the wrong area!)

6. Horn Happy. We love our horn! We use our horns! We lay on the horn so hard, for so long you think ambulance is coming. We'll horn for no reason and for any and every reason we can find! So use it as well, and don't be shy. This is not Hawaii where you can get beat up for honking. In L.A. staring wheel is our DJ table and horn is what makes the music :)

7. Green light. Please, please, please pay attention to green lights, especially green arrows as some lights you wait for a long time and can fit only 2 cars through. We will honk long and hard if you are sitting and it's green arrow for us to go. It's infuriating. After arrow is done full half way forward and wait till it turns yellow. The rule in Cali is 2 cars can go on yellow, even if it turns red, as long as no one is going your way you can turn left still to clear the intersection. It is legal and you must go if you don't want to be honked at or yelled at. When you are the first one in line stopped and waiting for it to turn green don't be surprised if we honk after 2 second it turns green. Don't be scared, just pay attention and GO!

8. HWY fast lane 60 means 80. To avoid any kind of rage one rule that drives everyone crazy in L.A. and actually ccause of a lot of accidents is the fast lane speed. Let the cops do their job to monitor fast drivers but if you decide to drive 60 miles don't do it in the fast lane. You might think that you are doing a great service and slowing down, instead you are making us angry when we want to go 80 miles (that's what the fast lane is for, is to go faster than other traffic). Plus we'll go 80 through traffic and we'll weave through it, which is accident about to happen. So do everyone a favor and move over!!

9. Get in the right lane. Driving on the HWY or the street make sure you are in the correct lane to exit, or turn because there is a huge chance that people will not let you in that easy.

10. Push your way in. When you are coming up on HWY or getting in the lane from wherever you must safely and slowly push your nose in and people will let you in, otherwise you will be sitting there for hours and no one will let you in. People behind you will start honking and you will panic. Make eye contact with drivers, if they don't react just roll in with no eye contact. They might honk at you but you'll get in :)

11. Road is a High School. Just when you thought that time of your life is over, if you move to L.A., it will just the beginning. On the road my rule of thumb is if your car is more expensive you have the right of way as I am not paying for your repairs and it's not worth it for me. Some drivers of Ferrari's, Maserati's and so on and nicer and will let you go in the lane or out to turn, so keep your eye for those and they will make eye contact. Some will think they own the road and it's up to you to do what i do and let them go.

12. Bigger is not always better. I am talking about the size of your car. With the theme of high school in mind, when you move to L.A. with your huge truck you might run into several issues like not fitting on the lane (people will honk, yell), and not being able to find parking, which is a nightmare in some areas and impossible in others. We don't think you are tough or better when you have a bigger car. We laugh cause you spend tons on gas and pass by you when you never can find parking ;)

13. Parking. Your small car is a life saver in L.S. as you will be able to find compact parking and in case of parallel parking you just might luck out and fit in the spot that others can't. Before you move here please practice parallel parking. Most of the meters are credit card friendly, but make sure you have some change as some will charge you $3 for and hour and you want to stay for 15 min. Also read the signs, let me say it again READ the signs. I have never seen 3 to 5 signs on the same post and some cancel each other. Don't confuse P.M. with A.M. and don't think it will not happen to you. it happens to everyone. They will not only give you a very expensive ticket, but will tow your car asap. Yellow line is good parking after 6 pm, so park there. White is passenger zone = do NOT park there. Read valet signs as well and moving signs as people post those when they will be moving all day long. Read signs for temporary no parking, they will cancel permanent parking signs. Some neighborhoods, even the ones that require permit to park, have a block or corner where you can park for free if you can find a spot ;) Valet and payed parking - don't be shy to ask the price as they will jack it up to $20 and you can find $6-10 parking lots around the corner, so don't be scared to make a loop around the block. Be ready to walk a bit or a lot as sometimes free parking means a bit of a walk. Mall parking, grocery stores and so on are a free for all zones and don't be shocked if grandmother will steel your spot. Several fights were started over parking spot theft. It's legal to steal parking spots, but be prepared to exchange few words. Just play dumb as it's not worth it. Trust me and you win anyways cause you got the spot, just remember parking karma and someone WILL take yours ;)

14. Roll of quarters. My little trick is to always get a roll of quarters in my bag. When I go tot he bank I ask for one every time. I have never had 2 in my bag, so they go fast. For parking and laundry, quarters are like gold in L.A. :)

15. Rain. Sunny Californians do not know what rain is and we don't know how to drive in it. It's madness on the road, we slow down when we don't need to and speed up as it's a habit not realizing different driving conditions. So if you are from Seattle you'll have a clear advantage, but keep an eye open even more while it's raining.

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